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佚名Anonymous
Losingsomeonewhootbereplayoneelseisharderthanlosingmillionsofdollars.Ihavebeeedbymyexperieooverotionaldisturbandingthattherearethingsthatotten,andgainitheuhefriendship.Whefriehehadlungcer,mylifepletely.IknewIwasgoiIdidn’tknowitwouldbesohardtooverethefeelingsthatheleftmewith.
Wewerefriends,nularfriends,butwewerebestfriends,whiseverything.Wewoulddtogether,suchasplaysoccer,playpianoandguitar,walkoandactawayfromhomeandhidesomewhere,ditchsdthroartyonMonday.
&hebesttimetogether,butuookallthatfromme.SometimesIaskmyselfwhyithadtobehim,mybestfriend,apersonwhotrustedwitheverything,apersoodotomakemehappy,apersonwhowasthebestpartofmylife.Hewouldgiveeverythirengthenourfriendship.Hewasafriendaysbei.
ItwasthenightofApril14,1999.Iwillthatday.Heeshoweredintears.Helookedverysad.“What’sgoingon,whyareyousodepressed?”
Iasked.
“I’m,I’mgoing,andI’mgoingto……”
hesaidslowly.
&oppedtalking,Ididn’tknoasgoingoy,buthekhionthshewashavihing.Thatdidn’tbotherhimmutilthatmomeedadoctor.Ilookedathiseyes,andIsawhisbluecoloredeyesblurringintoshadowsofadream.Iuoodwhatwasgoingon,butIdidn’tcry,beewifdid,thatwouldreallyhurthisfeelings.Ilookedathimagainahifine.youjusthavetotakepropercareofyourself.”
IheflameofsadburningandIingmytearsfromfalling,butIknewIwasstroohandlemyself.
Thatmomentwasfollowedbyajoke,whi’treallyremember.Iomakehimlaughaionsgoaway,Ibegantellingsoodjokes.Hestartedtolaughveryhard,buthecoughedtoo.ThatwasthelasttimeIsawhimlaughingthathard.thathappy,thatsadatthesametime.
OIgota,askiogoandseehim,becausehewasn’tfeelingveryaysthereforoher,soIwentthere.Helookedallwhite,andhisblueeyesdidobeveryhappy.Iwastryingtofoolmyself,ainginmymihingwasgoingtht.Iakemyselftobelievethatitwasreallygoingtohappen.
Itwas2:30amwhenhefinallytoawoofusaloedtalking.“Iknowwhat’sgoingtohappeyoudon’tworry……I’llbeallright,becauseGodisgoingtotakee.Anddo’snotlikewe’renotgoiheragain?”
Heaskedmetoholdhishandhard,aoldmethatourfriendshipwilllastforeverhappens.Hegavemealetterandsaid,“Wheneveryoufeelit’stimetoreadthis,justopenit.”
Iyeyes,andwithinsedsIfelthispulsestoppumping,andadarkinsideofmyhalefteverything.HisblueeyeswerealreadydI’tdoaomakethemlookbackatme.
AtthatsedI’tyselfahesaltytearsglideddownmyfa’ttalk.IjustwentdIstartedsg,butIdidn’tsayaword.Ibecamecrazy.I’tbreath,becausehewastheairIwasbreathihehappiingmealive,hewasthefriendthatIrespectedmorethahananybodyelse.Ahereanymo’sjusttheletterandme.
Twoassedafterhisdeath,andIwasstilldepressed,angry,sidalmostlifeless.I’tuandwhatwasgoingonarouhingwasanillusion.Iwasing,drinking,nanything.Fortwenty-fourhoursIwaslyingohinkingaboutwhatamIgoingtodo.I’ttalktoanyone,becauseldidn’twantto.Iwaobealoneallday,rememberthegoodtimes>
AndIfioopeerhegaveme.Ierhesaid,“Don’tbesillyanddon’towhowyoufeel,butyouknowwhat,yourlifeis.Youhavetouhatlifeistough,andyoujusthavetogetusedtoit,fightit,aeveryouwant.Iknowthatlifeisbeautiful,andIonlyhadashorttimetoexperie.Yougottogetyourselfreadytoueyourlife,belythenIlookdownatyouwithpride.Youhavetouhefactthatyou’rethepersonwhomakeseveryonesmile,yousharetheirproblems,uand,andlove.Youhavetobeyourself.Iwillmissyou,andIknowyouwetme……Iguessthisisgoodbye,butIdon’twanttosaythat,I’lljustsayI’llseeyoulater.”
Afterreadier,myheartfilledwithlightheideaofgmylife,ashehadsaid,gavemethepowertostarteverythingfromthebeginning.Ilearnedmanylessonsfromthisevent.Foriruefriendseverbereplayohey’reehatthefriendshipisagift,andnothingintheworldebetweenrealfriendship.Yes,Ihadalotofemotionaldisturbahiattheend,IaderstoodthateverythinghappensforareasoedthefactthatmyfriendisnotwithmeaI’msurethathewillalwaysliveinsideofme.Aslongashe’sinmymemories,he’spartof
&akehispresenceasasourceofpride.
与损失几百万美元相比,失去一个无法替代的好朋友要令人伤心得多。
那次克服情感困扰的经历对我造成了深远的影响,它让我懂得一些事情是无法忘记的,有一种友谊是无法代替的。
当最好的朋友告诉我他患了肺癌时,我的生活彻底改变了。
我知道我将要失去他,然而,我没有想到,克服失去他的那种痛苦竟是如此艰难。
我们是朋友,不仅仅是一般的朋友,而是最要好的朋友,这足以解释所有的事情。
所有的事情我们都一起做,如踢足球、弹钢琴、弹吉他、在大街上散步、疯玩,从家里出逃到一个地方躲起来,周一逃学去准备聚会。
我们一起度过了最美妙的时光,不幸的是,生活带走了这一切。
他相信生活,他知道如何逗我开心,他是我生命中非常重要的人。
有时候,我会问自己,为什么得癌症的是他,是我最好的朋友。
他愿意做一切可能的妥协来巩固我们之间的友谊,他是我心中永远的朋友。
1999年4月14日的夜晚,是我一辈子也无法忘记的日子。
他泪流满面地出现在我的面前,看起来悲痛欲绝。
我问他:“发生了什么事情,怎么这么难过?”
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